Introduction (revised 9-16-2011)(revised 3-18-12)

I am Carl James, a 62 year old retired architect now doing what I love. I am a photographer ,  writer and part-time philosopher. I have done photography for thirty years but got serious about it around 10 years ago. I am a hiker, canoer, and traveler and always take a camera. Friends and colleagues have told me for years “you otta do a book” So in November of 2009 I published my first book of photography and poetry. The book is AUX ARCS Black & White Photography Of The Ozarks Region. Please visit my website for books and prints. I created this avenue of communication separately from my web-site because I want it to be a place of exchanging thoughts, feelings, opinions, etc. These are the rules: 1: Disagree with me or any contributors but do not belittle or call someone names. 2: No intimidation allowed 3: Respect all people and treat them like you want to be treated. 4: No ethnic slurs.

I am a spiritual person but not a religious one. I believe that we are children of the universe like all life. I believe the universe is a living entity of which we are a small part. I believe we are no more important than other living entities; we just happen to be able to change and destroy. Heaven and hell are here; make it what you will. When we die we become part of the timeless cycle of birth, life and death as all things do. We are, in a sense, immortal because the energy that we were and the material that we were only changes form. Part of that energy may be the memories that carry on in our loved ones after we are gone. We must learn to take care of the earth. It is not ours to destroy. Nature is impartial to us and is sufficient unto itself. We cannot win a battle of exploitation. We will merely be selectively replaced by a new dominate species more suitable to the environment we have created like so many times in the past.

One of my goals as a photographer and writer is to help people become more sensitive to the beautiful, intricate and ever-changing world around us and learn to become more of a symbiotic part of the whole.

Revision-8-15-11
I am 63 now and find that my love of life grows stronger. One thing that I did not mention in my original introduction was that I was diagnosed approximately seven years ago with Parkinson’s Disease. I am exposing this part of myself not because I want your pity or sympathy but to share with you how this has effected my life.

I remember going to the neurologist after a six month wait with my list of symptoms in my hand. I had written the list the day before with some difficulty because everything I wrote down pointed to Parkinsons. I had a very difficult time convincing my GP that I needed to go.

The doctor came into the exam room, read my list and, rather absentmindedly performed a few tests. He than stated he was going out to look at the MRI of my brain to check for abnormalities. When he returned he sat down and I knew what he would say. He asked me if I knew what I had. He said he knew the moment he walked in the door. He than had the audacity to ask if I was all right and I said no. He left me alone for a few minutes and I cried briefly. He gave me my prescriptions and I called my wife, cried some more and met her at home. After a little while I announced I had a meeting at work I needed to go to and we both went back to work.

We were to meet some friends after work for dinner and viewing some photographs I had in a show. The three were waiting for me in a table at the bar. A very difficult moment. We had dinner, a lot of wine and proceeded to the show and I was trying to make light of it; even making off-color jokes about the shaking maybe making my wife’s sex life more exciting.

My wife and I met at home in the kitchen where we looked at each other, clung together and both sobbed with grief like there was no tomorrow.

But there have been many tomorrows. I remember thinking thatI really had only two choices. I could feel sorry for myself, worry about what was going to happen to me and generally waste what good time I had left or I could learn to live life in the present and pursue those things I always wanted to do but never got around to doing. I chose the latter.

Some of the days in my life since then have been some of the best of my whole life; days like seeing my first book, attending a gallery show featuring my art and just being with my wife.

I occasionally feel very vulnerable. I mostly feel free to express myself and am willing to expose my emotions and beliefs. I no longer am afraid of the future because at this moment, it doesn’t exist.

I have felt the need to make some pretty strong political statements lately and plan on writing more in the future. I consider myself an independant but find that most of my views align with the left and the Democrats. When I give statements on this site politically in the future, I will back them up with research.

3-18-12: I am 64 now. 2011 was not one of my better years. I think I was depressed. I spent a lot of time being angry about the political climate. I joined several web sites and must be dense. I finally realized what the information was doing to me.  The items are always worded in such a manner that they portray the other side as doing something we should be indignant about. Then the next page wants money to remedy. Finally, I unsubscribed from everything except my party’s primary site. I am tired of being mad and frustrated all the time.

I have done little photography this year and plan to get back into it. I also need to get my center back where it belongs. The photography will help that plus some soul searching.

As always, I would love to hear from my readers. I hope you enjoy the new material